Megaman will be returning. I had my sabbatical and will be returning. The site will be moving as i've never been able to fix the problems with the feeds. So be looking for a new post soon. 

MegaMan The Madman Visits the Doctor..President Obama's plan for a nation of liberal zombies uncovered.

The emergency room was packed, with every conceivable malady and illness represented.

This was my first visit to the emergency room and I wanted to make a good impression.

The room was packed with patients wearing surgical masks covering their faces, signs plastered the walls warning of an impending disaster from the devastation of swine flu. Would I be a casualty or would I survive to save the world? Perhaps this is the catastrophe that destroys the human race, the swine flu. I hoped that I would make it through the day, but from the scene before me, I had my doubts.

The second question: Is this illness a deliberate by the President, jealous over my winning the Nobel Peace prize for my thoughts and hopes of peace?

 Unaware of were to proceed the sign "check-in" in bold black lettering here caught my intention. Perhaps this is where I should start.

 I stepped to the check in station, the first sign that greeted me stated boldly "Have your insurance card ready."

 The nurse a large sturdily built woman in her early forties perhaps, with a serious stern look clutching her face. She looked as if she'd be more comfortable in a wrestling ring than caring for sick patients, perhaps this was the enforcer of the death panel options for the Presidents health-care plan I'd heard so much about.

 I wondered if health-care was my best choice.

 She looked up from her computer terminal.  After glancing at me for a moment she returned her hateful gaze back to her computer screen and continued typing.

 "Ma'm" The sound of her jaws viciously punishing the gum in her mouth answered me. An obnoxious pop followed. "Ma'm..I'm quite ill, I need to see one of your physicians.."

 "Insurance card, please." apparently this was necessary to receive treatment.

 "Uh I'm sorry, but I don't have one of those at the moment, but I do have several million dollars the government has given me.." I showed her the government checks. This should impress.  Show her that I could pay for any services rendered.

"That's impressive. Fill out these forms and have a seat. Next." The cold callous voice yelled.

I stepped to the side and the next person stepped to the inquisitor.

  After filling out the form, I returned it and waited. After eating lunch, dinner and then a midnight snack, setting the clock back for daylight savings time, I was called to the examination room.

 The nurse asked me to sit on a table, took my blood pressure, my temperature and then left.

  I waited. After filing my nails, growing a beard ( we grow facial hair at an exceedingly slow pace might I add) after watching the sun rise and set twice a doctor entered the room.

 "Well Mr. Madman, I see here you're having flu like symptoms and you were bit by the President..uh do you have any history of mental illness in the family?"

 "Well...No.."

  "And the bite on your ear..Oh my that is a nasty bite..Let me run a few tests and then see..A nurse will return shortly."

  After cutting my nails, watching them grow back and cutting them again the nurse came to draw blood. I wondered if this was a way to save medical costs, by simply stalling medical care until the patient dropped dead. I would have to study this further.

 After the tests were preformed. The nurse politely stated that someone would be right back.

 I asked for a couple days worth of food.

 After shaving twice, cutting and filing my nails, cutting my hair, viewing Haley's comet for the second time, -truly a spectacular site by the way-watching two-full moons and a solar eclipse; several doctors entered the room.

**********************************************************************************

 Meanwhile in the deepest darkest level of the hospital a lone hunch-backed technician studies the blood samples taken from MegaMan the Madman only moments earlier and laughs. A sickening howl. Then he picks up the phone, dials and waits for the answer.

 "Hello may I speak to the Palinator.." The hunch-back asked
 
 After a few brif moments of silence, the Palinator answered. "Do you have the analysis?"

 "Yes ma'm its just as you suspected, the President is the source of the H1N1 virus and the impeding flu crisis that is plaguing our schools and seniors. Do you have my summary in front of you...Yes Ok..well briefly the President  infected himself with a virulent and unknown strain of the flu, then ACORN developed a vaccine that does prevent this particular strain of the flu, but..and this is the ingenious part it totally disables a person ability for self-reliance, taking responsibility for ones own actions and achievements and creating liberal zombies to be commanded in anyway the President deems necessary. The President plans to create a nation of liberal zombies through this devious plot.."

 "Where did it all start? We've been watching him and as I suspected he was the carrier, but he never bit anyone before, until now."

  "Do you have my video, it should have been..?"

  "Yes..wait a moment.. OK, the beer summit, is this a joke?"

   "No, No, run it to point 183, and then slow the speed. Now watch as Joe Biden whispers in Crowley's ear there."

   "He spit in his beer, Obama spit in his beer?"

   "Yep. I suspect and we have evidence the President's old buddy set the whole race thing up, just so the President could call the beer summit, spit in a beer, start the flu virus then start creating zombies. With a country of liberal zombies..that's why he's not worried about keeping his campaign promises."

  "Ingenious.."

   "I hope that you can stop it, Palinator..please save the country." 
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MegaMan, ELG, Frank N. Stein and Obama Claus..

 Let me first apologize for being late on my post; it seems that I keep attracting the most disreputable of characters. Well when you read the entire post you'll understand my trials and tribulations.

 All is not lost, I have millions in free money, at least at the moment it seems to be free. And I had won the Nobel Peace prize for my thoughts of bringing peace to the world.

 The bad side: the President of The United States was now angered with me. I couldn't help but think this would at some point catch up to me. Especially after his treatment of the fly and on national television. No wonder the Nobel prize committee gave me the Prize.

 Anyway, I have my mission.

 I spent three days healing my wounds, and after the three days I was still sick and foaming at the mouth, a mystery. Perhaps this is the initial stages of swine flu?

I decided to consult with one of your physicians about my strange symptoms and the wound on my ear. Generally I heal much faster than this and the wound seemed to be infected. Was this some sort of top-secret poison passed on by the President? Was he jealous that I too was trying to save the world? Surely the both of us can save the world. Is there not enough destruction and death that the two of us can't find some dispute, war or calamity to bring to a resolution.

  This being an emergency, I decided on the emergency room. After all, I had millions from the government to start a company, a world to save and I was at home in bed foaming at the mouth.

 OK so I got out of bed, got dressed and started out the door of my still unfurnished loft apartment in downtown Indianapolis.

 As I was just about ready to depart, three large white men break down the front door and storm into the living room. Two of the men searched the apartment quickly, then return to the living room.

 "Mr. MegaMan, I see you have a considerable cut on your ear there." The burly barrel-chested man said. He pointed with a pudgy, hairy finger adorned with the largest ring I'd ever seen. The red ruby glowed and the diamonds glistened. The man was an intimidating presence.

 "Uh yes..I was bit" I wanted to tell the man by whom, but thought better of it.

 "By whom? May I ask?" he answered.

  "I'd rather not say."

   "Oh I completely understand your reservations, but may I state that the dent in your forehead will be worse than your little nibble on your ear." He stated emphatically as he slammed his right-ringed hand now clenched into a fist into his other hand.

   "I see.." I surmised that this may not be the time to utilize my superhuman strength and fighting ability; so I placated his request. If he didn't believe me. I would make up a lie. Not that I believe in that sort of thing, but here on earth it seemed to be a common form of communication. Almost acceptable.  "It was President Obama, yes I know it's.."

  I was interrupted. "We know..we represent a group that..well shall we say is against the President's plan to offer nationalized Monster Insurance. I would like you to meet the head lobbyist for ELG..Elf Lobbying Group"..(Thanks Harrison for the inspiration, we all need some at some point.)

 A short man, less than 3 feet tall walked into the room wearing green dress and green tights,with a triangular hat and pointed ears.

 "Mr. MegaMan, sorry I'm late..I see you've met my partner, Frank N. Stien. 

 "We would like your support. Obviously this would ruin your business and it frankly is not the way to bring Monster Insurance into every home. Mr. MegaMan we have a way that all of us can make a tidy some of money..  

  ***************************************************************************

Meanwhile at the White House..

"OK..who do we have on the list now.." The President demanded.

"Sir we have Fox news,all Republicans, insurance companies, capitalists..." The attorney general continued on with what an uninformed observer would believe was a Christmas list, but was in reality a list the President was making of potential enemies.

"What about the Democrats.." The President added.

 "Aren't we Democrats sir.." The attorney general added shyly.

 "Uh yeah but just in case add them, you never know about the Liberals.. and that fucking MegaMan add him to, hey what about that kid, the maids son...."

 "What about him sir and sir aren't we Liberals.."

  "The maids son..well he didn't bow when I passed. I'm royalty aren't I. And the Liberals..well never know about them..better keep an eye on them..the boy..well he might be a problem in the future. and what about the clerk at the grocery store and the..."

 "Sir we aren't royalty yet.."

  The President continued into the wee hours of the night..

Oh you better not watch fox,
better not seek the truth,
better watch MSNBC,
I'm telling you why
Obama Claus is coming to town..
he's making his list,
checking it twice,
gonna find out who's tuning to fox,
Obama Claus is comin to town..
He sees you when tune to fox,
He knows when you disagree,
Obama Claus is comin to town..

Author note:Hey give me a break..I can't dance either...

MegaMan Takes the Nobel Peace Prize...Gets His Ass Kicked By President Obama

I wasn't sure how all this would save the world, but I was leaving the halls of Congress with grants and checks worth millions to start my Monster Insurance company. Read here to learn of the ground-breaking idea that started the entire company. I had plenty of new friends and business associates to help me with the legal and technical aspects of setting up a company and I was enthused that after only four months I had friends in both the legislative and the executive branch of government.This I knew would serve benefit my aspirations to save the world.

Despite the long and technical explanations on how and where this money came from and how it would create jobs and stimulate the economy, I accepted the money. I just didn't understand the economic theories behind where the money was coming from, but hey what the hell, I still hadn't figured out who Santa Claus is either. My suspicions are that this Santa Claus provides some sort of training or indoctrination for future Congressional and Political leaders on how to pass out gifts and favors for those who are nice to them.

I should study this Santa Claus economic theory, it might benefit my business at a later date.

I decided to set up my corporate headquarters in Indianapolis. This is where I started after all.

I purchased my ticket, boarded the plane and headed back.

During my flight to Indianapolis, I received a phone call from a gentleman identifying himself as a member of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee.

"Mr. MegaMan..I am Gunther Bugerhiemr and I represent the Nobel Peace Prize Committee. I understand that you are an alien visitor..from let me see here the planet Pronghornia? Is that correct?" The man seemed quite official and I suspected deserved the utmost of respect from me.

"Yes Sir.."

" I understand that you are here to save the world? Is that correct?" his questions were short and official.

 "Yes Sir"

 "What are you going to to do for the world and please be brief."

 "I'm going to stop hunger, stop killing, stop torture,..." The entire list of plans for saving mankind took over 20 minutes to explain to him. "Oh and really I despise this practice of stepping on ants..we have to stop that, save the ants..they to are creatures and save flies, after all flies are living creatures as such and having world leaders such as President Obama going around killing innocent flies..well if earth is to have peace all life forms have to.."

"I've heard enough.." The phone went dead. I scratched my head wondering what that was all about.

My plane landed. I got off and with my Santa Claus stimulus money, I rented a loft apartment in downtown Indianapolis.

The next day the doorbell rang. In front of me stood President Barrack Obama. He slapped me across the face, rather wimpish if I might say so.

The President looked about ready to explode. Seconds later, he tackled me. Then he bit my ear. Then he punched me. I easily pushed him off me. As my ear bled, he yelled for the secret service to hold me down. Several large men in black suits and dark sun-glasses restrained me. I would have shaken them off with my super-powers, but I suspected angering the Prez any further may endanger my planned Monster Insurance Corporation and my plans to save the world.

As the secret service restrained me the President punched me.

He continued to yell and scream. "Where is it..you stole my award..you fucking alien bastard. I promised to bring peace, I kissed every Arabian ass I could find, I kissed the Europeans asses, the Chinese asses, the Gays Asses..I promised everything to everyone to get that prize..I want it.." Then he began to cry.

Frankly I was confused.

The secret service searched my empty luxury loft apartment.

As the President left he said. "I'll find the Nobel Peace Prize you bastard..and when I do I'm taking it back..Cause I'm the President and I can do anything I want. So there." Then he stuck his tongue out at me, swiveled around on the balls of his toes and stormed angrily down the hall.

I shrugged my shoulders, scratched my bald head and returned to my apartment confused.

Minutes later I received a phone call from Gunther. " We have stripped the Peace Prize from the President and given it to you..you may at some later future date bring much more peace to the world than President Obama. And that's what it's for after all. The best Bullshitter with the best bullshit on how he or she is going to bring peace to the world..You are truly a great bullshitter. Congratulations on winning the Nobel Peace Prize.."

Wow I won The Nobel Peace Prize..I was a hero..